Dr. Mary Oberstein » May 10, 2014

Daily Archives: May 10, 2014

Family Fun Stuff

My Second Favorite Mother’s Day Gift

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My second favorite Mother’s Day gift was the gift that my three daughters gave me last year. It really was a gift of LOVE(insert sarcastic Hallmark comment here). I figured, I had enough clothing, jewelry, workout gear, power tools, and yes, I even had enough shoes( I can’t believe I just admitted that) so when I was asked what I wanted, I told my daughters that I was going to send them an email with 9 questions and all they had to do was answer the questions and send them back to me on Mother’s Day. Simple. I guess you could say it was a Mother’s Day report card in a way. I always loved getting both sentimental and witty cards with lovely words written about how much they loved me and now that the girls were adults(25, 23 and 21) I wanted to know more. I wanted to know how I was doing as a mom.

Here are a few of the answers I got:

How are you inspired by me?    Mom, you inspire me most by doing what you do every day. So many mothers and wives complain about the work they do, look for acknowledgment, and stress out about little things. You are the perfectly balanced woman, and you do everything so smoothly and you never ever look for someone to acknowledge the work you do. You make being a wife and mom look effortless. You inspire me to be the best wife and mother I can possibly be. If I am half the mother you are, my kids will be very lucky.

How do you feel loved by me?    I think the main way I feel loved by you is that you have always told me the truth. No matter what we ask you, you have always been straightforward and honest with us, even if we maybe did not want to hear it. I think you always told us the truth because you knew that we would grow into the people we were destined to be no matter what. You had 100% trust in the fact that we needed to experience certain things and that from them we would grow and evolve, and your job was to be another vehicle through which we would realize new things and continue to grow.

I feel loved by you because you always put me first. On top of work and everything thing else you have piled on your plate, I know I come first and that when I need you, you will always be there for me. Even when you don’t know what to say, just you being there beside me means just as much. I feel connected to you always throughout every day. And I know I will never lose that.

What are the words you hear in your mind that come from me?    The words I hear in my mind that come from you are “Do you feel this is bettering you as a person?” It’s crazy because, although I have only heard this in a few situations, asking myself that question will forever impact my decision-making. The other times I hear you in my mind are when dealing with others. Although sometimes I might want to rip someone’s head off, I can literally role- play in my mind with you until I find the right words to express how I am feeling.

As I read the answers through teary eyes, I gave myself an A+ in the subject of Mothering. I realized that through the years those girls were watching me and learning valuable lessons. I realized that being present with them was most important and always striving to be a better person made an impression on them. I wasn’t surprised by their answers(except for a few stories that I did not remember) however, I was moved by the depth of their feelings and the extreme gratitude that they expressed.   I marveled at the lessons they learned from situations that I found meaningless. I was thrown in our pool fully clothed during a party at our house sometime around 1998.  Morgan recalled how she was so mad that I was getting thrown in until she saw me emerge from the water laughing and having fun. She learned from that day on, not to take life so seriously and that love and laughter are important. The funny thing is, I learned so much from my girls when they were younger and I learn even more from them today. They are my teachers. They inspire me to be a better person. It is because of them that I absolutely LOVE being a Mother.

Happy Mother’s Day!

PS- If you would like me to send you a list of the questions I sent to my daughters, leave a comment with your email address and I will gladly send it to you.

Mary girls Newport

My favorite Mother’s Day Gift?? The birth of my daughter Morgan born at home, in our bathtub on Mother’s Day, May 13, 1990.